May I Present To You: Michelle Obama Hitting Harry Styles in the Balls With a Dodgeball

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There’s a thing people often do on Twitter, where they share a headline and refer to it as a 2019 mad lib—a collection of words and phrases that can only exist in these bizarre times, curated by the internet. Often these are things like “President Donald Trump’s Feud With KFC’s Colonel Sanders Ends With Jimmy Buffett Banned From Twitter.”

Rarely, and perhaps never, has Twitter generated a real world word jumble as perfect as this one: “Michelle Obama Hits Harry Styles in the Dick and Balls With a Dodgeball.”

Chef’s kiss.

And, dear reader, I assure you this happened in the real world in which you and I currently inhabit as humans. This is not something pulled out of the very fabric of my imagination. This is actual footage of former First Lady and American national treasure Michelle Obama throwing a dodgeball at pop and style icon Harry Styles and hitting him directly in the dick and balls.

This comes from a Team USA vs Team UK dodgeball game hosted by James Corden on The Late Late Show. Obama led the American team consisting of Melissa McCarthy, Alison Janney, Mila Kunis, Lena Waithe and Kate Hudson. Corden led his team with Styles, Benedict Cumberbatch, John Bradley and Late Late Show band leader Reggie Watts.

Naturally, Obama’s team won.

But the real winner is this shot from Obama directly into Styles’ crotch.

Now, to be perfectly clear, I do not wish any (any) harm to come of sweet, beautiful Styles. In fact, his dick and balls should be protected in the hopes that this phenomenally attractive man will get the chance to procreate someday. I just appreciate the hilarity of a dick shot, especially when it involves two of the planet’s finest individuals.

The moment comes at 6 minutes and 47 seconds into the video below:

Or, if you’d like to only watch that specific moment on loop here’s just that scene:

Enjoy.

Culture Editor Matt is the Culture Editor at Esquire where he covers music, movies, books, and TV—with an emphasis on all things Star Wars, Marvel, and Game of Thrones.